|page 1 ›|
Nick Offerman will be at my sister’s college in a couple weeks.
This is not happening to me.
“Ron Fucking Swanson” - Portrait Painting by Sam Spratt
Being a fan of high-quality comedy television and not watching Parks and Recreation might just be the second most blasphemous thing you could do (the 1st of course being not watching Arrested Development). If for some reason you are in the “yet to watch” category, I present to you Ron Swanson aka exhibit A on what you are missing (youtube video).
If you have “seen the light” and are already familiar with Swanson Greatness, I humbly give you my painting of him. Features include: High and tight Swanson haircut, Swanson body hair, Swanson mustache, Swanson mustache chest hair (not groomed, grows that way naturally), Tammy tattoo, Tammy 2 tattoo, Tattoo of the text from Ron’s Speech to the boy’s basketball team, copious amounts of meat, the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness, Food and Stuff grocery store desk sticker, and Mulligan’s Steakhouse apron. High-quality Archival Prints Available HERE
This. Is. Amazing.
RON: When it comes to government hearings, the only type of witness I enjoy being is a hostile one. That’s why I intend to answer every one of their questions with a question.
PHIL: Were you aware that all of the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
RON: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
PHIL: I don’t know. Would you have?
RON: Would you have?
PHIL: No, I wouldn’t have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
RON: What constitutes a promise?
PHIL: A quid pro quo.
RON: Oh, do you know Latin?
PHIL: Okay. Thank you, Ron.
RON: Are we done?
Ben: Effective tomorrow morning the entire government will be shut down until further notice.